Saturday, July 27, 2013

Living in Maine, Restoration & Metamorphous

Sideways, upside down, inside out, whatever terminology you'd like to insert here, my life has had quite a shuffle over the past month. And to tell you the truth, it feels as though it has been a year. Not in time, no. In the way that feel. I feel different. I feel calm. I feel at ease. I feel happy.

You may be wondering, if that is the case, was I not calm, at ease and happy prior?

I was well on my way. But there were some barriers. Some internal, some external. With those barriers lifted, I feel as though I too have been lifted.

There has been a shift.

I won't delve into the details of what exactly went on over the past month, but I am now in a new home here in Maine. And, it is perfect for me right now. While a bit challenging at first, in the end, I am so very glad that this move happened. Not only because I'm in love with where I am now, but because there were some important lessons learned and growth had along the way.


My View

Nestled in the lush woods, with views of rolling green hills, unique barns, sheep and deer, I am resting easy and enjoying the sunrise and sunset like never before. My first night there, I stepped out onto the deck above the budding blueberry bushes to checkout the night sky. My roommate and I shut off all the lights so that we can see the stars more easily.

What we saw immediately went onto my informal list of the 'top most incredible things that I have seen.' The sky was clear, stars bright and appeared closer than I can ever recall seeing them. I was awestruck and then I shifted my gaze below and saw hundreds of fireflies sparkling beneath us. It was magical. Purely magical.

So here I am, going on my fourth month living in Maine. Wow, how very different my life is today than this time last year. Maine is serving a great purpose in my life. I believe wholeheartedly that this move was exactly what I needed. And for those that are wondering, no, I will not be staying and I am elated planning my next move (to be disclosed soon ;)). It has not all been beautiful, in the traditional sense of the word and it has not been all 'roses' and 'peaches,' nor has it been easy. There have been some struggles, some tears and some restless nights. Though through that, I have shown myself the strength that I embody, exercised the tools within me to carry me through some rough winds and came out stronger and more focused than I was before.


While there were some struggles, there were also great breakthroughs. And where there were tears, there were also deep soul-baring laughs. And now I sleep, sometimes for nine hours at a time.

There were two paths laid before me:

One was rocky, dark, cold, damp and full of cobwebs.



The other...

Clear, a bit sandy, some turns, subtle hills and full of sunshine.



 

I chose the latter, and it was just that simple.


 
Many of you know that I have been in recovery from an Orthorexia, a lesser known eating disorder, since March of this year; and near the end of April I made my move to Bar Harbor, ME from Boulder, CO.

"The harvest of my pain was its own peace and remedy.
As low as I had sunk, I rose, faith restored from blasphemy.
Body, heart, and soul obscured the path, until
Body melted into heart, heart in soul, and soul in love itself."


 - Rumi
 
 

Where I like to practice my yoga


 
I work daily in maintaining a healthy recovery from Orthorexia. Yesterday was the first time that I weighed myself since mid-March. I am up 13 pounds and at a 'healthy/normal' BMI of 18.7 (according to the Centers of Disease Control).

Top of Gorham, Acadia National Park

 
While emotional, this number ultimately makes me very proud. My yoga poses are becoming stronger, the muscles in my arms and legs are surprising the heck out of me and earlier this week I ran my longest run (non-stop running) of 5.7 miles. Think I could have been able to that a year ago? No.

The list of those that I am grateful for continues to grow. You all know who you are, and I thank you each day.

Looking forward to seeing how this chapter unfolds.

Peace,

Ashley

5 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing and for being such a kind soul. My life is blessed with you in it.

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  2. Thank you both very much. Life continues to amaze me.

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  3. Hi, just found your blog, am about 80-90% Primal (for about 18 months) and just wanted to say I love the recipes, your honesty, your writing and am very happy for you, for this phase of your life, and wish you all the best in your recovery... I really liked the quotes you included in this post. All the best!

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    1. Hi, thank you very much for your kind words. What an amazing journey life is! I hope that you continue to find recipes that you like on here. Take care and wishing you well!

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